Inspired by a recently found thirty-year-old love poem. “Ytje – Memories of a lost love” tells the love story of a two-year affair that ended almost thirty years ago.
— Geïnspireerd door een recent gevonden dertig jaar oud liefdesgedicht. “Ytje – Memories of a lost love” vertelt het liefdesverhaal van een tweejarige affaire die bijna dertig jaar geleden eindigde.
(Ytje is a popular girls name from the Dutch province of Friesland).
Ytje – memories of a lost love Before you came into my life, and for so long, I had dreamt of finding, someone just like you, from the moment I first saw you, as I looked into your eyes, it was as if I had always known you, we met for the first time at Ronnie’s Café Bar, so unexpectedly you came into my life, suddenly, I’d be distracted, each time I saw you from afar, each time I’d hear your voice, each time I’d hear your name, you were so different, you had this way about you, the way you dressed, the way you wore your hair, I’d never known anyone, quite like you before, there was something about you, I couldn’t resist, you had a hold on me, I couldn’t deny, with each day, I’d think of you more, very soon, we’d be more than friends, together for the first time, on, one Sunday in February, we met in the park, openly we talked, and with words spoken and unspoken, we got to know each other, and with each moment, the closer we’d become, it felt as if I’d always known you, talking with you was easy, and being with you, felt so right, I remember our first kiss in Ronnie’s Café Bar, the bar had emptied, we were sat alone near where the DJ played, as I looked into your eyes, we had our first embrace, and as I held you, I kissed you for the first time, I remember saying wow, perhaps you remember why? a moment in time we would never forget, the course of our love never ran smooth, with obstacles to our affair, each day, we’d fight for our love, nothing was going to stop us, from being together and loving each other, once in a while, unsure that we would make it, I would tell you that I loved you, and you would tell me that you loved me too, you were the only girl for me, you were loving, you were exciting, you were sexy, you were loyal, you were forgiving, you could be stubborn, you were lively, you were spirited, you were funny, you made me smile, you made me whole, you were wonderful, and you loved me, I’d never known love quite like this before, the affection, the understanding, and the unconditional love you gave to me, one evening we were going out, innocently, you asked me how you looked, I remember so clearly, your surprise, when I told you just how beautiful you were, you were gentle and affectionate, you were thoughtful, and you were kind, you were passionate and sexy, had a great sense of humor and a lovely smile, I was captivated by your beauty, as lovers, we were intense, I’d long for when I’d lay with you, to touch you and to hold you, to caress your body, and to feel your gentle touch, as a lover, you were adventurous, as a lover, you were generous, making love with you was natural, in each other’s arms, we’d fall asleep, and as you slept, I would look at you in wonder, and whisper that I love you. In the morning light, with you by my side, I’d awake, and hold you [tight], and tell you that I love you, so many times, I moved with work, from Lincoln to Ilford, to Croydon, to Leicester Square and to Norbury, Ronnies & Ronelles, The Ilford Paleis, Office Bar & Easy Street, The Café de Paris and Central Park & 5th Avenue, our love withstood the moves, and with every move, a new address, you’d send your love letters to, as I read your beautiful handwritten letters, I’d feel as if you were there, with me, you’d tell me your thoughts, and you’d tell me you miss me, and you love me so much, and sometimes, I’d cry, overwhelmed, by just how much you loved me, and when I was missing you, I’d read your letters, again and again, and for a moment I'd feel nearer to you, ever since I met you, you were in my mind, you were never far from my thoughts, and not a day would go by when I wouldn’t think of you, we talked of the future, of starting a new life, of being together. then unexpectedly, all at once, two years after it began, our affair was over, and to this day, I never knew why, my heart was broken, it took time to accept the affair was over, and when I did, I’d tell myself I was over you, then something would happen, I’d be reminded of you, and I’d be sad for a time, while I thought of you again, it took a long time to get over you, and not to feel pain each time I thought of you, you forever left a hole in my heart, a place, where you once filled, for a while, it was impossible to love, all I could do was think of you, and when eventually, I loved again, I was lost, and with each new love compared to you, any new love would be in vain, I longed for someone I could never have - again, you.
(© 1991 – 2024 Neil Nathan, ‘Ytje, memories of a lost love’, The Hague. Inspired from a poem written in 1991, published 2020)